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...A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. "What's wrong?" asked his mother. "Do people really come from dust, like they said in church?" he sobbed. "In a way they do," said his mother. "And when they die so they turn back to dust?" "Yes, they do." The little boy began to cry again. "Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going."... Rakeback poker
A casino dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.
The player said, "When I get bad cards, it's not the dealers fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so why should I tip him?" The dealer said, "When you eat out do you tip the waiter?" "Yes." "Well then, he serves you food, I'm serving you cards so you should tip me." "OK, but, the waiter gives me what I ask for...I'll take an eight." Slots Casino
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Humor and jokes
Farmer jokes
Farmer Brown decided his
injuries from the
accident were serious enough to take the trucking company
(responsible for the accident) to court. In court, the trucking
company's
fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Brown. "Didn't you say, at
the
scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" asked the lawyer.
Farmer
Brown responded, "Well I'll tell you what happened. I had just
loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the..."
"I didn't ask for any
details," the lawyer interrupted, "just
answer the question. Did
you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm
fine'!"
Farmer Brown said, "Well I had just gotten Bessie into the trailer and
I was driving down the road..."
The lawyer interrupted again
and said, "Judge, I am trying to
establish the fact that, at the
scene of the accident, this man told the
Highway Patrolman on the scene
that he was just fine. Now several weeks after
the accident he
is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud.
Please tell
him to simply answer the question."
By this time the Judge was
fairly interested in Farmer Brown's answer
and said to the lawyer,
"I'd like to hear what he has to say about
his favorite mule
Bessie."
Brown thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well as I was
saying, I had
just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and
was driving
her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and
trailer ran the stop
sign and smacked my truck right in the
side."
He continued, "I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown
into
the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move.
However, I
could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in
terrible
shape just by her groans."
"Shortly after the
accident a highway patrolman came on the scene. He
could hear Bessie
moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he
looked at h
er, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then
the
patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked
at
me."
Finally, farmer Brown came to the end of the story. "The
patrolman
looked at me and said, 'Your mule was in such bad shape I
had to shoot
her. How are YOU feeling'?"
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