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...A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. "What's wrong?" asked his mother. "Do people really come from dust, like they said in church?" he sobbed. "In a way they do," said his mother. "And when they die so they turn back to dust?" "Yes, they do." The little boy began to cry again. "Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going."... Rakeback poker
A casino dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.
The player said, "When I get bad cards, it's not the dealers fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so why should I tip him?" The dealer said, "When you eat out do you tip the waiter?" "Yes." "Well then, he serves you food, I'm serving you cards so you should tip me." "OK, but, the waiter gives me what I ask for...I'll take an eight." Slots Casino
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Humor and jokes
Farmer jokes
A lone tourist who is passing through the
suburbs on the way to town by car, unfortunately experiences mechanical
problems with the automobile. The car stalls and the tourist parks
the
car by the side of the road and waits for help.
Not
much later, a farmer happens to pass by with a truck full of farm
animals. The farmer offers the tourist a lift to town and proceeds to
explain that he is bringing his farm animals to the town market, where
they will be auctioned off to the highest bidders.
Well, it
so happens that on the way to the town, the farmer being so
engrossed in his story, unintentionally wanders into the other side of
road where another vehicle is approaching in the other direction.
The farmer realizes his absent mindness and attempts to avoid the
possible collision with the other vehicle. He just misses the other car,
but
unfortunately crashes the truck into the side of the road.
The tourist
winds up thrown into a ditch and suffers broken ribs
and a broken arm
and leg and is obviously in extreme pain. The farm
animals are all
messed up very badly and the farmer, although
remaining inside the vehicle,
still suffers cuts and scrapes.
The farmer gets out of the truck and looks at his farm animals.
The chickens all have broken limbs and can barely move. "These
chickens are all useless! Nobody will want to buy these chickens anymore!"
bellows the farmer. With that, he grabs and loads his shotgun and
blows
away the chickens.
Next, he sees the pigs and they are
all lame and bleeding profusely.
"These pigs are all worthless now!
I'll get nothing for them!" yells
the farmer. With great rage, the
farmer reloads his shotgun and blows
away the pigs.
The
farmer looks at the sheep and they all have broken limbs and their
wool is all bloodied. "Worthless sheep!" screams the farmer and wit
h
that, he reloads his shotgun and blows away the sheep.
Meanwhile, the injured tourist witnesses all of this carnage in great
horror.
The farmer then moves over to the side of the ditch
and looks at the
tourist. "Are you okay down there?" asked the
farmer.
"NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!" the tourist yelled
back.
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