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...A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. "What's wrong?" asked his mother. "Do people really come from dust, like they said in church?" he sobbed. "In a way they do," said his mother. "And when they die so they turn back to dust?" "Yes, they do." The little boy began to cry again. "Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going."... Rakeback poker
A casino dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.
The player said, "When I get bad cards, it's not the dealers fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so why should I tip him?" The dealer said, "When you eat out do you tip the waiter?" "Yes." "Well then, he serves you food, I'm serving you cards so you should tip me." "OK, but, the waiter gives me what I ask for...I'll take an eight." Slots Casino
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Humor and jokes
Military jokes
Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect
Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback.
He had
scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he
couldn't
find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl
win.
Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene
in Bosnia.
In one corner of the background, he spotted a young
Bosnian soldier
with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade
straight into a
15th-story window 200 yards away -- ka- boom! He
threw another hand
grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100 yards away
-- ka-blooey! Then a
car passed, going 90 mph -- bulls-eye!
"I've got to get this guy!" Ross said to himself. "He has the
perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the
great game of
football, and the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl
for the first time in
history.
The young Bosnian is lioni
zed as the Great Hero of football, and when
Ross asks him what he
wants, all the young man wants to do is to call
his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl."
"I
don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted
us.
You are not my son."
"I don't think you understand, Mother!"
the young man pleads. "I
just won the greatest sporting event in the
world. I'm here among
thousands of my adoring fans."
"No,
let me tell you," the mother retorts. "At this very moment,
there
are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble.
Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week,
and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight."
The
old lady pauses, and then tearfully says "...I'll never forgive
you
for making us move to Detroit."
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