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...A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. "What's wrong?" asked his mother. "Do people really come from dust, like they said in church?" he sobbed. "In a way they do," said his mother. "And when they die so they turn back to dust?" "Yes, they do." The little boy began to cry again. "Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going."... Rakeback poker
A casino dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.
The player said, "When I get bad cards, it's not the dealers fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so why should I tip him?" The dealer said, "When you eat out do you tip the waiter?" "Yes." "Well then, he serves you food, I'm serving you cards so you should tip me." "OK, but, the waiter gives me what I ask for...I'll take an eight." Slots Casino
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Humor and jokes
Biologist jokes
A wildlife biologist is working in the
woods,
miles from the nearest town. He's camped alone with his dog and
cat as
his companions. Suddenly, an old gentleman carrying a small
limp dog,
franticly runs into his camp.
"Please, please help
me! I think something has happened to Willie. Our
Winnebago is parked
just around the bend and we've seen you camped
here. We didn't
know what to do. We thought of you because we had seen
all this
scientific equipment laying around here. Can you help him?"
" Sir, I'm
not a vet, I'm a wildlife biologist," the young
biologist told the
worried man.
"Can you please just have a look at him, I'll pay you
anything you
need. I just need to know. If he's still alive, maybe
I can rush him
into town."
"Ok, put him here on the table." The
young biologist looks the limp
dog over, but its plain that the dog
is dead,, no pulse or signs of
breathing.
"I'm sorry
sir, but I'm afraid poor Willie is dead."
"No, I can't believe
that..... It can't be true...are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm quite
sure."
"I just can't believe that....With all this equipment, isn't
there
something you can do? I must be absolutely sure."
The
biologist called his big yellow cat over to the table. The cat
walked
around the dead dog, occasionally sniffing at the carcass. He then
looks
up at the biologist and let out a few weak meows.
"Well, the cat say
he's dead. Does that assure you?"
"No, I need more than that...Do
you have anything else?"
The biologist calls over his big black dog.
The dog circles the body a
few times, sniffing it every now and
then. After a few moments, the dog
barks at the biologist.
"Well,
now the dog says he's dead. That's all I can do for you
sir."
"OK, well I guess its true. I'll take him back and bury him...How
much do I owe you?"
"It'll be $650 bucks." The biologist tells
the old man.
"What??", replied the old man, "How can you charge
that much??!!"
"Well sir, I could have told you he was dead for only a
dollar, but
you're the one that insisted on the cat scan and the
lab tests!"
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