Humor and jokes - KING_KONG

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. "That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That's still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror.
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Why did King Kong join the army? To learn about gorilla warfare.
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What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema? Miss most of the film!
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What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben? He found time-consuming.
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What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog? A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.
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What's big and hairy and climbs up the Empire State Building in a dress? Queen Kong.
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How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it? With a monkey wrench.
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If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping-gong and died, what would they put on his coffin? A lid.
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What is as big as King Kong but doesn't weigh anything? King Kong's shadow.
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What do you get if you cross King Kong with a watchdog? A terrified postman.
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Who is the smelliest, hairiest monarch in the world? King Pong.
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What's brown and furry on the inside and clear on the outside? King Kong in clingfilm
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Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong? He didn't like Chinese food.
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Why did King Kong paint the bottoms of his feet brown? So that he could hide upside down in a jar of peanut butter.
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What is big, hairy and can fly faster than sound? King Koncord.
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If King Kong came to England why would he live in the Tower of London? Because he's a beef-eater.
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What business is King Kong in? Monkey business.
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What would you get if you crossed King Kong with a skunk? I don't know but it could always get a seat on a bus!
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Where does King Kong sleep? Anywhere he wants to.
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What should you do if you are on a picnic with King Kong? Give him the biggest bananas.
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What do you do if you fiend King Kong in the kitchen? Just don't monkey with him.
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What do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend? A flat mate.
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What do you get if King Kong sits on your piano? A flat note.
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What do you get if King Kong falls down a mine shaft? A flat miner.
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Why is King Kong big and hairy? So you can tell him apart from a gooseberry.
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How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
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What do you get if you cross King Kong with a budgie? A messy cage.
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What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty? "Are you my mother?"
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If you crossed King Kong and a bell, what would you have? A ding-dong King Kong.
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What is big hairy and can fly ? King Kongcorde !
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If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping pong and died. What would they put on his coffin ? A lid !
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What did the big ape say when he dialed incorrectly? "Oops! King Kong ring wrong."
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