What goes hum-choo, hum choo?
A bee with a
cold !
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What is a bee's favourite classical music
composer ?
Bee-thoven !
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What does a queen bee do when she burps
?
Issues a royal pardon !
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Where would you put an injured insect ?
In an
antbulance !
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What do bees do if they want to use public
transport ?
Wait at a buzz stop !
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What do you call a bee who's had a spell put
on him ?
He's bee-witched !
Single Page
Q: What kind of suit does a bee wear to
work?
A: A buzzness suit!
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What has four wheels and flies ?
A rubbish
bin !
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What lives in gum trees ?
Stick insects !
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What is the biggest ant in the world ?
An
elephant !
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What's a bee-line ?
The shortest distance
between two buzz-stops !
Single Page
First Caribou: What do
you call a bee that
can't make up his mind?
Second Caribou: A maybee.
Single Page
Q: What did one flea say to the other flea
when they came out of the movies? - A: Should we walk home or take a
dog?
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What happened to the man who turned into an
insect ?
He just beetled off !
Single Page
What do you get when you cross a bell with a
bee?
A humdinger.
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One woodworm met another. "How's life?" she
asked.
"Oh, same as usual," he replied, "boring."
Single Page
What is the difference
between an elephant
and a flea?
An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have
elephants !
Single Page
What
did the bee say to the naughty bee
?
Bee-hive yourself !
Single Page
Who writes books for little bees ?
Bee-trix
Potter !
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Why did the bee started talking poetry ?
He
was waxing lyrical !
Single Page
What's more dangerous than being with a fool
?
Fooling with a bee !
Single Page
What's black, yellow and covered in
blackberries ?
A bramble bee !
Single Page
How does a queen bee get around her hive
?
She's throne !
Single Page
First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor
cycle
stunts?
Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.
Single Page
First Caribou: Which bug gobbles up
trash?
Second Caribou: The litterbug.
Single Page
How do we know that insects are so clever
?
Because they always know when your eating outside !
Single Page
Can bees fly in
the rain ?
Not without
their little yellow jackets !
Single Page
What buzzes, is black and
yellow and goes
along the bottom of the sea ?
A bee in a submarine !
Single Page
Why do bees hum ?
Because they've forgotten
the words !
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What kind of bees hum and drop
things
?
A fumble bee !
Single Page
What did the bee say to the flower ?
Hello
honey !
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What's a bees favourite flower ?
A
bee-gonias !
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What did the confused bee say ?
To bee or
not to bee !
Single Page
What is black and yellow and buzzes along at
30,000 feet ?
A bee is an aeroplane !
Single Page
What are the cleverest bees ?
Spelling bees
!
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What bee is good for your health ?
Vitamin
bee !
Single Page
What goes zzub, zzub ?
A bee flying
backwards !
Single Page
Why do bees buzz ?
Because they can't
whistle !
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What kind of bee can't be understood ?
A
mumble bee !
Single Page
What does a bee get at McDonalds ?
A
humburger !
Single Page
Who is a bee's favourite painter ?
Pablo
Beecasso !
Single Page
What did the spider say to the bee ?
Your
honey or your life !
Single Page
What is a baby bee ?
A little humbug !
Single Page
What is the bees favourite film ?
The Sting
!
Single Page
Who is the bees favourite singer ?
Sting
!
Single Page
Who is the bees favourite pop group ?
The
bee gees !
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What did the bee to the other bee in summer
?
Swarm here isn't it !
Single Page
Where do bees keep their money ?
In a honey
box !
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What TV station do bees watch ?
Bee bee c
one!
Single Page
What's a bees favourite novel ?
The Great
Gats-bee !
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What do you get if you cross a bee with a door
bell?
A hum dinger !
Single Page
How many bees do you need in a bee choir ?
A
humdred !
Single Page
What does the bee Santa Claus say ?
Ho hum
hum !
Single Page
Why did the bees go on strike ?
Because they
wanted more honey and shorter working flowers !
Single Page
Why do
bees have sticky hair ?
Beacuse
of the honey combs !
Single Page
Where do bees go on holiday ?
Stingapore
!
Single Page
What do bees chew ?
Bumble gum !
Single Page
Why did the queen bee kick out all of the other
bees ?
Because they kept droning on and on !
Single Page
What does a bee say before it
stings you
?
This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you !
Single Page
What kind of
bee can keep an aeroplane dry
?
An aero-drone !
Single Page
What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a
flea ?
Bugs Bunny !
Single Page
How do you start an insect race ?
One, two,
flea - go
Single Page
What is the difference between a flea and a
wolf
?
One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie
!
Single Page
What to
you call a Russian flea ?
A
Moscow-ito !
Single Page
How do you find where a flea has bitten you
?
Start from scratch !
Single Page
Who rode a dog and was a confederate general
during the American Civil War ?
Robert E Flea !
Single Page
Two fleas where running across the top of a
cereal
packet ?
"Why are we running so fast ?" said one
Because
it says "Tear along the dotted line"
Single Page
What did one flea say
to the other after a
night out ?
Shall we walk home or take a dog ?
Single Page
What is a flea's favourite book ?
The
itch-hikers guide to the galaxy !
Single Page
What is the most faithful
insect ?
A
flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them !
Single Page
What insect runs away from everything ?
A
flee !
Single Page
What is the difference between a flea bitten
dog and a bored
visitor ?
Ones going to itch and the other is
itching to go !
Single Page
How to fleas
travel ?
Itch hiking !
Single Page
Why did the firefly keep stealing things
?
What goes "snap, crackle and pop" ?
A firefly with a short circuit
!
Single Page
Which fly makes films ?
Stephen Speilbug
!
Single Page
What goes "snap, crackle and pop" ?
A
firefly with a short circuit !
Single Page
Why did the fly fly ?
Single Page
Why were the
flies playing football in
saucer ?
They where playing for the cup !
Single Page
How do fireflies start a race ?
Ready steady
glow !
Single Page
If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you
know which one is the American Football player ?
The one in the
sugar bowl !
Single Page
What did one firefly say to the other ?
Got
to glow now !
Single Page
What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger
with
an insect ?
The Masked-quito !
Single Page
What has antlers and sucks blood ?
A
moose-quito !
Single Page
Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ?
To
improve his bite !
Single Page
What is a mosquito's favourite sport
?
Skin-diving !
Single Page
How do you know if you have a tough mosquito
?
You slap him and he slaps you back !
Single Page
What is the difference between a
mosquito
and a fly ?
Try sewing buttons on a mosquito !
Single Page
What is the most religious insect
?
A
mosque-ito !
Single Page
What has 6 legs, bits and talks in code ?
A
morese-quito !
Single Page
Why are mosquitos religious ?
They prey on
you !
Single Page
What do insects learn at school ?
Mothmatics
!
Single Page
How do you make a butterfly ?
Flick it out
of the butter dish with a knife !
Single Page
What insect lives on
nothing ?
A moth,
because it eats holes
Single Page
What do you get if you cross a firefly
and
a moth ?
An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe !
Single Page
How do stones
stop moths eating your
clothes ?
Because rolling stones gather no moths !
Single Page
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet
?
He wanted to see the floor show !
Single Page
What's the biggest moth in the
world
?
A mammoth !
Single Page
Why was the moth so unpopular ?
He kept
picking holes in everything !
Single Page
What do you call a grasshopper
with no legs
?
A grasshover !
Single Page
What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk ?
A
centipede with a wooden leg !
Single Page
Why was the centipede dropped from the insect
football team ?
He took too long to put his boots on !
Single Page
What is worse than an
alligator with
toothache ?
A centipede with athlete's foot !
Single Page
What has 50 legs but cant walk ?
Half a
centipede !
Single Page
Why was the centipede late ?
Because he was
playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother
!
Single Page
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a
chicken ?
Enough drumsticks to feed an army !
Single Page
What did one centipede say to the other
centipede ?
You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely
pair of
legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely
pair of
legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely
pair of legs
....!
Single Page
What pillar doesn't need holding up ?
A
caterpillar !
Single Page
What does a cat go to sleep on ?
A
caterpillow !
Single Page
What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day
?
Turns over a new leaf !
Single Page
What is the definition of a caterpillar ?
A
worm in a fur coat !
Single Page
Why don't other bugs like earwigs ?
Because
they are always earwigging their conversations !
Single Page
What kind of
wig can hear ?
An earwig
!
Single Page
What did the earwig say as it fell down the
stairs ?
Ear we go !
Single Page
What did the maggot say to his friend when he
got stuck
in an apple ?
Worm your way out of that one !
Single Page
Why didn't the two worms get on
Noah's
Ark in an apple ?
Because everyone had to go on in pairs !
Single Page
How can you tell which end of a worm is which
?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs !
Single Page
How do you make a
glow worm happy ?
Cut
off his tail, he'll be de-lighted !
Single Page
What's a glow worms
favourite song
?
Wake me up before you glow glow !
Single Page
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her
children weren't that bright !
Single Page
What do you get if you
cross a glow worm
with some beer ?
Light ale !
Single Page
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young
goat ?
A dirty kid !
Single Page
What did the maggot say to another ?
What's
a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this !
Single Page
What did
the woodworm say to the chair
?
It's been nice gnawing you !
Single Page
How can you tell if you are looking at
a
police glow worm ?
it has a blue light !
Single Page
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag
?
They can lighten your load !
Single Page
What did the worm say to the other when he was
late home ?
Where in earth have you been !
Single Page
What do you get if you cross a worm
and an
elephant ?
Very big worm holes in your garden !
Single Page
What makes a glow worm glow ?
A light meal
!
Single Page
Why do worms taste like chewing gum
?
Because they're wrigleys !
Single Page
What is life like for a wood worm ?
Boring
!
Single Page
What did the spider say when he broke his new
web ?
Darn it !
Single Page
What happened when the chef found a daddy long
legs in the
salad ?
It became a daddy short legs !
Single Page
What do you get if you cross a
tarantula
with a rose ?
I'm not sure, but I wouldn't try smelling it !
Single Page
Why did the spider
buy a car ?
So he
could take it out for a spin !
Single Page
What does a spider do when he
gets angry
?
He goes up the wall !
Single Page
Why are spiders good swimmers ?
They have
webbed feet !
Single Page
What is red and dangerous ?
Strawberry and
tarantula jelly !
Single Page
What did the spider say to the fly ?
We're
getting married do you want to come to the webbing ?
Single Page
How do
you spot a modern spider ?
He
doesn't have a web he had a website !
Single Page
What are spiders webs good
for ?
Spiders
!
Single Page
What do you call a big irish spider ?
Paddy
long legs !
Single Page
What is a spiders favourite TV show ?
The
newly web game !
Single Page
What do you get if you cross a spider and an
elephant ?
I'm not sure, but if you see one walking across the
ceiling then run
before it collapses !
Single Page
What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre ?
A
spinning wheel !
Single Page
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as
horses ?
If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital !
Single Page
What kind of doctors are like spiders ?
Spin
doctors !
Single Page
Why are spiders like tops ?
They are always
spinning !
Single Page
What did the wife spider say to her
husband
when he tried to explain why he was late ?
Your spinning me a yarn
here !
Single Page
QUESTION: What do you get from a bee
that
has an udder?
ANSWER: Milk and honey.
Single Page
What kind of bugs bother sporting dogs?
Ath-fleats!
Single Page
How to fleas travel ?
Itch hiking !
Single Page
What is the difference between a flea bitten
dog and a
bored visitor ?
Ones going to itch and the other is
itching to go !
Single Page
First Caribou:
What well-known cartoon
character do moths like a hole lot?
Second Caribou: Micky Moth!
Single Page
Boy: What's the biggest ant in the
world?
Girl: My Aunt
Boy: No, it's an elephant.
Girl: You
obviously haven't met my Aunt
Single Page
What do you call an ant with
frog's legs?
An antphibian.
Single Page
Why don't anteaters get sick?
Because
they're full of anty-bodies !
Single Page
What do you call a scruffy,
lazy ant?
Decadant.
Single Page
What do you call a stupid ant?
Antwerp.
Single Page
What are ants called when they run away very
fast to get
married?
Ant-elopers.
Single Page
Where do you take a sick wasp?
To
waspital.
Single Page
What is the wasps' favorite song?
Just a
Spoonful of Sugar.
Single Page
Surveyor: This house is a ruin. I wonder
what stops it from falling down.
Owner: I think the woodworm are
holding hands.
Single Page
How do fireflies start
a race?
Ready,
steady, glow!
Single Page
What do you get if you cross a moth with a
firefly?
An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.
Single Page
If a flea and a
fly pass each other what
time is it?
Fly past flea.
Single Page
A flea jumped over the swinging doors of a
saloon, drank three whiskeys and jumped out again. He picked himself up
from the dirt, dusted himself down and said, "OK, who moved my
dog?"
Single Page
How do you make a moth bawl?
Hit him with a
fly swatter.
Single Page
What insect lives on nothing?
A moth,
because it eats holes.
Single Page
Which fly captured the ladybird?
The
dragon-fly.
Single Page
Why was the ladybird kicked out of the forest?
Because she was a litter bug.
Single Page
What do you call A Tale of Two Mosquitoes?
A bite-time story.
Single Page
Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one
mosquito?
Because an itch in time saves nine.
Single Page
Why are mosquitoes annoying?
Because they
get under your skin.
Single Page
What did one mosquito say to
another when
they came out of the cinema?
Fancy a bite?
Single Page
Two mosquitoes were buzzing round when they saw
a
drunken man.
One said to the other, "You bite him ? I'm
driving."
Single Page
A mother moth was telling her baby moth off
saying, "If you don't eat all your cotton, you won't get any
satin."
Single Page
How can you make a moth ball ?
Hit it with
a fly swatter.
Single Page
Q: What did the Pink Panther say when he
stepped on an ant?
A: "Dead ant, Dead Ant ... Dead ant, Dead Ant ..
Dead Ant"
(to the tune of Pink Panther theme).
Single Page
How do fireflies lose weight?
They burn
calories.
Single Page
One ant was running across an unopened box of
crackers and urging another to speed up. "But why do we have to
hurry?"
said one. "Can you read, you nut! It says, Tear along the
dotted
line'".
Single Page
Firefighter Jokes |
Fishing Jokes |
Food Jokes |
Frog Jokes |
Ghost Jokes |
Gorilla Jokes |
Hair and Bald Jokes |
Halloween Jokes |
Heaven and Hell Jokes |
History Jokes |
Horse Jokes |
Humor Jokes |
Hunting Jokes |
Idiot and Fool Jokes |
Insect Jokes |
Internet Jokes |
Journalist Jokes |
Judge Jokes |
King Kong Jokes |
Knock Knock Jokes |
Lawyer Jokes |
Letter Jokes |
Marriage Jokes |
Men Jokes |
Mental Health Jokes |
Military Jokes |
Money Jokes |
Monster Jokes |
Mouse Jokes |
Movie and TV Jokes |
Music Jokes |
Old Age Jokes |
Parent Jokes |
Pig Jokes |
Police Jokes |
Political Jokes |
Rabbit Jokes |
Religious Jokes |
Restaurant Jokes |
Salesmen Jokes |
School Jokes |
Snake Jokes |
Snowman Jokes |
Space Jokes |
Spelling Jokes |
Sport Jokes |
Teeth Jokes |
Telephone Jokes |
Time Jokes |
Travel and Tourist Jokes |
Vampire Jokes |
Various Animal Jokes |
Waiter Jokes |
Weather Jokes |
Witch Jokes |
Women Jokes |
Yo Momma Jokes |
Zodiac Jokes |
Zoo Jokes
