"Will I ever be able to race my horse again" the
owner asked the vet.
The vet replied, "You certainly will, and
you'll probably beat her
too!"
Single Page
A stallion and a mare where due to get married,
but the stallion
didn't show up at the church.
He got colt
feet
Single Page
As horses say to one another.
Any friend of
yours is a palomino!
Single Page
Did you find my horse well
behaved?
Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
Single Page
Did you
hear about Mike Tyson's horse?
It
got angry and bit at the champ!
Single Page
Did you hear about the aristocratic horse?
He
was the last of his race!
Single Page
Did you hear about the depressed horse?
He
told a tale of whoa!
Single Page
Did you hear about the horse that has made a
dozen films?
He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
Single Page
Did you hear about
the horse with the
negative altitude?
He always said "Neigh"
Single Page
Did you hear about the Irishman who
couldn't tell the difference between his two horses?
His friend suggested
measuring them, that didn't help though, the
Irishman discovered
that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the
white one!
Single Page
Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but
oats every day?
He fell in love with the Grand National
winner!
Single Page
Did you hear about
the man who named his
horse Radish?
Single Page
Did you hear about the man who
received a
tip on a horse called Cigarette?
He didn't have enough money
tabaccer!
Single Page
Did you hear about the man
with five keen
senses?
He still lacked common and horse!
Single Page
Did you hear about the overweight
man who
took up horse riding as exercise?
The horse lost 15 pounds in a
week!
Single Page
Did you hear about the race horse that was so
late coming in?
They had to pay the jockey overtime!
Single Page
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you?
Horse:
Sure!
Girl: What do you call it?
Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
Single Page
Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse
Trek"
Who wrote it?
Major Bumsore
Single Page
How did the instructor try to make horse riding
enjoyable?
He tried to stirrup some interest!
Single Page
How do jockeys determine which
racehorses
are the favourites?
They take a gallop poll!
Single Page
How do you go about hiring a horse?
Try two
pairs of stilts!
Single Page
How do you hire a horse?
Put a brick under
each hoof!
Single Page
How do you lead a horse to water?
With lots
of carrots.
Single Page
How do you make a small fortune out of
horses?
Start off with a large fortune!
Single Page
How much money did the bronco have?
Only a
buck!
Single Page
What couple rode a horse up a hill to fetch a
pail of water?
Jockey and Jill!
Single Page
What did the city worker say after his first
ever
pony trek?
I never knew anything stuffed with hay could be so
hard!
Single Page
What did the
horse say to whinnie the pooh
while watching his t.v. show?
I wish I could hear you whinnie.
Single Page
What did the wife say to the
undertaker when
he started hitting his broken down car?
Stop beating a dead
hearse!
Single Page
What disease do horses fear most?
Hay
Fever!
Single Page
What do you call a horse that plays the
violin?
Fiddler on the hoof!
Single Page
What do you call a horse that's been all around
the world?
A globe-trotter!
Single Page
What do you call a horse wearing Venetian
blinds?
A zebra!
Single Page
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A
hoarse horse!
Single Page
What do you call the horse than lives next
door?
A neighbour!
Single Page
What do you give a sick horse?
Cough
stirrup.
Single Page
What does ever horse and rider do at the same
time?
Grow old!
Single Page
What does it mean if you find a horse
shoe?
Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
Single Page
What equine likes to cut in line?
A
sawhorse!
Single Page
What goes "Clip"?
A one legged horse!
Single Page
What goes into the mouth of a quarter
horse?
Two bits!
Single Page
What happened to Lady Godiva's horse when he
saw she had
no clothes on?
It made him shy!
Single Page
What happened to the horse that swallowed a
dollar
bill?
It bucked!
Single Page
What happened to the man who owned a riding
academy?
Business kept falling off!
Single Page
What has four legs and see just as well from
either end?
A horse with his eyes closed!
Single Page
What is a horse's favourite sport?
Stable
tennis!
Single Page
What is a horses favourite kind of party?
A
stall ball.
Single Page
What is a horses favourite TV show?
Neeeebours
Single Page
What is a jockey's motto?
Put your money
where your mount is!
Single Page
What is a thespian pony?
A little horse
play!
Single Page
What is horse sense?
Stable thinking and the
ability to say nay!
Single Page
What is the best type of
story to tell a
runaway horse?
A tale of whoa!
Single Page
What is the difference between a horse and a
duck?
One goes quick and the other goes quack!
Single Page
What is the strongest
animal?
A
racehorse, because it can take hundreds of people for a ride at
once!
Single Page
What kind of horse has trouble keeping track of
his Macintosh?
An Appaloosa!
Single Page
What person strives to ensure safety for
horses?
Ralph Neighder!
Single Page
What's another name for an assistant stable
cleaner?
A co-pile-it!
Single Page
What's as big as a horse, but weighs
nothing?
A horses shadow!
Single Page
What's black and white and turns
cartwheels?
A piebald horse pulling a cart!
Single Page
What's the hardest thing about learning to ride
a horse?
The ground!
Single Page
When does a horse neigh?
Whinny wants to!
Single Page
Where did the Knights of the Round Table park
their
horses?
In the Sir Lance Lot
Single Page
Where did the newlywed horses stay?
In the
bridle suite!
Single Page
Where do you take a sick horse?
To the
Horspital!
Single Page
Which route should you take through the woods
when riding a fizzy horse?
The psycho-path!
Single Page
Who did the breeder call when his horse was
possessed by an evil spirit?
An exhorsist!
Single Page
Why are chorus girls like barge horses?
They
have to tow the line!
Single Page
Why are clouds like jockeys?
Because they
hold the reins!
Single Page
Why did the artist put on a show of
horse
paintings?
He wanted to mount an exhibit!
Single Page
Why did the boy stand behind the horse?
He
thought he might get a kick out of it!
Single Page
Why did the farmer call his
horse
Baseball?
Because it's covered with horsehide!
Single Page
Why did the horse go behind the
tree?
To
change his jockeys.
Single Page
Why did the horse miss the joust?
He had the
knight off!
Single Page
Why did the horse stir his cereal with his
hoof?
Because he wanted to feel his oats!
Single Page
Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large
loaf of bread?
It was a crusty steed!
Single Page
Why did the man call his horse
Fleabag?
Because he was often scratched!
Single Page
Why is a racehorse like a letter?
They both
begin a trip at the post!
Single Page
Why is an egg like a young horse?
Because it
can't be used until it's broken!
Single Page
Why is Dick Clark a
favourite star with
horses?
Because he was a disk jockey from Filly!
Single Page
Why is horse racing so romantic?
Because the
horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the
horse and
you can kiss your money goodbye!
Single Page
Why is it difficult to
identify horses from
the back?
They're always switching their tails!
Single Page
Why is manna from heaven like
horse
hay?
Both are food from aloft!
Single Page
Why is the old, decrepit horse named
Flattery?
Because it gets you nowhere!
Single Page
Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?
He
was a rough rider!
Single Page
You said it was a great horse and it is.
It
took twenty other horses to beat him!
Single Page
You said this horse could
jump as high as a
ten foot fence and he can't jump at all.
Well neither can a
fence!
Single Page
What kind of horse can swim underwater
without coming up for air ?
A seahorse !
Single Page
What is the slowest racehorse in the world ?
A clotheshorse !
Single Page
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and
asked for one spur. "One spur?" asked the saddler. "Surely you mean
a
pair of spurs, sir?" "No, just one," replied the horseman. "If I
can
get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to
come with
it!"
Single Page
Why did the bareback performer ride his horse?
Because it got too heavy to carry.
Single Page
A man has a racehorse, never won a
race. Man
in disgust says," Horse, you win today or you pull a milk
wagon
tomorrow morning." The starting gate opens, the horses take-off,
they
move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track. He
kicks the horse and asks, "WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING. The horse, half
asleep says, "I have to get up at three in the morning."
Single Page
Why was the horse all charged up?
It ate some
haywire!
Single Page
Why was the horseman fired from his job of
saddle testing?
He was always standing up on the job!
Single Page
Why was the man sued by his
horse?
For
palomino-money!
Single Page
Why was the racehorse named Bad News?
Because
bad news travels fast!
Single Page
Why was the racehorse names Strawberry
Ice?
He was a sherbet!
Single Page
Firefighter Jokes |
Fishing Jokes |
Food Jokes |
Frog Jokes |
Ghost Jokes |
Gorilla Jokes |
Hair and Bald Jokes |
Halloween Jokes |
Heaven and Hell Jokes |
History Jokes |
Horse Jokes |
Humor Jokes |
Hunting Jokes |
Idiot and Fool Jokes |
Insect Jokes |
Internet Jokes |
Journalist Jokes |
Judge Jokes |
King Kong Jokes |
Knock Knock Jokes |
Lawyer Jokes |
Letter Jokes |
Marriage Jokes |
Men Jokes |
Mental Health Jokes |
Military Jokes |
Money Jokes |
Monster Jokes |
Mouse Jokes |
Movie and TV Jokes |
Music Jokes |
Old Age Jokes |
Parent Jokes |
Pig Jokes |
Police Jokes |
Political Jokes |
Rabbit Jokes |
Religious Jokes |
Restaurant Jokes |
Salesmen Jokes |
School Jokes |
Snake Jokes |
Snowman Jokes |
Space Jokes |
Spelling Jokes |
Sport Jokes |
Teeth Jokes |
Telephone Jokes |
Time Jokes |
Travel and Tourist Jokes |
Vampire Jokes |
Various Animal Jokes |
Waiter Jokes |
Weather Jokes |
Witch Jokes |
Women Jokes |
Yo Momma Jokes |
Zodiac Jokes |
Zoo Jokes
