Woman: Why are you begging for a
quarter?
Beggar: I didn't think someone like you would give me a
dollar.
Single Page
"What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln,
and Christopher Columbus all
have in common? They were all born on
holidays."
Single Page
What did General
Patton do on Thanksgiving?
He gave tanks.
Single Page
"You know an ancestor of mine came over on the
Mayflower." "Really? Which rat was he?"
Single Page
Teacher: "What did the Indians
bring to the
first Thanksgiving?"
Student: "Baseballs."
Teacher:
"Baseballs?"
Student: "Yeah, they were Cleveland Indians!"
Single Page
Why did the Pilgrims create
Thanksgiving?
They wanted another excuse to watch football.
Single Page
What was the greatest
accomplishment of
the early Romans ?
Speaking Latin !
Single Page
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ?
He
wanted Mark Antony !
Single Page
Where did the pilgrims land when they came to
America ?
On their feet !
Single Page
Why does history keep repeating itself
?
Because we weren't listening the first time !
Single Page
Who succeeded the first President of the USA
?
The second one !
Single Page
If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders,
who
supported Atlas ?
His wife !
Single Page
When did Caesar reign ?
I didn't know he
reigned.
Of course he did, didn't they hail him ?
Single Page
Why did the Romans build
straight roads
?
So their soldiers didn't go around the bend !
Single Page
What did Caesar say to
Cleopatra
?
Toga-ether we can rule the world !
Single Page
Why were the early days of history called the
dark ages ?
Because there were so many knights !
Single Page
Why did Arthur have a round
table ?
So
no one could corner him !
Single Page
Who invented King Arthur's round table
?
Sir Circumference !
Single Page
What was King Arthur's favourite game
?
Knights and crosses !
Single Page
What was Camelot ?
A place where people
parked their camels !
Single Page
What was Camelot famous for ?
It's knight
life !
Single Page
When were King Arthur's army too tired to
fight
?
When they had lots of sleepless knights !
Single Page
What English King invented
the fireplace
?
Alfred the grate !
Single Page
What famous chiropodist ruled England
?
William the Corn-cutter!
Single Page
Whose son was Edward, the Black Prince
?
Old King Coal !
Single Page
Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ?
He
liked to chop and change !
Single Page
What was the first think Queen
Elizabeth
did on ascending to the throne ?
Sat down !
Single Page
Where was the Magna Carta signed ?
At the
bottom !
Single Page
I'm learning ancient history ?
So am I,
lets go for a walk and talk over old times !
Single Page
My teacher
reminds me of history
She's always repeating herself !
Single Page
What do history teachers make when they want
to get together ?
Dates !
Single Page
The Spanish explorers went round the world in
a galleon.
How many galleons did the get to the mile !
Single Page
What did Paul Revere say
when he got on
his horse?
Giddy up horsey !
Single Page
How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships
?
With their eyes shut !
Single Page
What did Napoleon become when he was 41 years
old ?
A year older on his birthday !
Single Page
Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia
?
Must have been a duck family
A duck family ?
Didn't you say
there was a quack in it !
Single Page
Why did the pioneers cross
the country in
covered wagons ?
Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a
train !
Single Page
You've
failed history again !
Well you
always told me to let bygones be bygones !
Single Page
How did you do in
your tests ?
I did
what George Washington did !
What was that ?
Went down in history
!
Single Page
Do you know the 20th President of the United
States ?
No, we were never introduced !
Single Page
Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he
had to walk 7 miles to school everyday.
Well he should have got
up earlier and caught the school bus like
everyone else !
Single Page
When crossing the Delaware River why did
George Washington
stand up in the boat ?
He was afraid that if he sat
down that someone would give him an oar to
row !
Single Page
What did they do at the Boston Tea Party
?
I don't know, I wasn't invited !
Single Page
What does the 1286BC incribed on
the
mummy's tomb indicate ?
The registration of the car that ran him over
!
Single Page
What do Alexander the
Great and Winnie the
Pooh have in common ?
They both have 'the' as their middle names
!
Single Page
What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies
quiet?
Egyptian dummies.
Single Page
Q: Where does Napolean keep his armies?
A:
In his sleevies!
Single Page
What did King Arthur sleep with when he was
afraid of the dark?
A knight light
Single Page
Firefighter Jokes |
Fishing Jokes |
Food Jokes |
Frog Jokes |
Ghost Jokes |
Gorilla Jokes |
Hair and Bald Jokes |
Halloween Jokes |
Heaven and Hell Jokes |
History Jokes |
Horse Jokes |
Humor Jokes |
Hunting Jokes |
Idiot and Fool Jokes |
Insect Jokes |
Internet Jokes |
Journalist Jokes |
Judge Jokes |
King Kong Jokes |
Knock Knock Jokes |
Lawyer Jokes |
Letter Jokes |
Marriage Jokes |
Men Jokes |
Mental Health Jokes |
Military Jokes |
Money Jokes |
Monster Jokes |
Mouse Jokes |
Movie and TV Jokes |
Music Jokes |
Old Age Jokes |
Parent Jokes |
Pig Jokes |
Police Jokes |
Political Jokes |
Rabbit Jokes |
Religious Jokes |
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Salesmen Jokes |
School Jokes |
Snake Jokes |
Snowman Jokes |
Space Jokes |
Spelling Jokes |
Sport Jokes |
Teeth Jokes |
Telephone Jokes |
Time Jokes |
Travel and Tourist Jokes |
Vampire Jokes |
Various Animal Jokes |
Waiter Jokes |
Weather Jokes |
Witch Jokes |
Women Jokes |
Yo Momma Jokes |
Zodiac Jokes |
Zoo Jokes
