How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a
living?
By appearing in television spooktaculars.
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What did the papa ghost say
to the baby
ghost.
Fasten your sheet belt.
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What do you call a ghost that stays out all
night?
Afresh air freak.
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Why did the ghost go to the funfair.
He
wanted to go on the rollerghoster.
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Why did the ghost work at
Scotland Yard?
He was the Chief In-Spectre.
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What do you call the ghost who is a
child-rearing expert?
Dr Spook.
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Which ghost ate too much porridge?
Ghouldilocks.
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What happened when a ghost asked for a brandy at
his
local pub?
The landlord said "Sorry, we don't serve
spirits."
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What is a ghost
boxer called?
A
phantomweight.
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What happened to the ghost who went to a party?
He had a wail of a time.
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Did you hear about the ghost comedian?
He
was booed off stage.
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Did you hear about the ghost who learnt to
fly?
He was pleased to be back on terror-firma.
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Did you hear about the
ghost who enjoyed
doing housework?
He used to go round with the oooo-ver.
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A man was staying in a big old
house and in
the middle of the night he met a ghost. The ghost said,
"I have
been walking these corridors for 300 years."
The man said, "in that
case, can you tell me the way to the
toilet?"
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Who did the ghost invite to his party?
Anyone he could dig up.
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What are pupils at ghost schools called?
Ghoulboys and ghoulgirls.
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What do you get is you cross a ghost with a
packet of potato chips?
Snacks that go crunch in the night.
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What do you call a ghost who only
haunts the
Town Hall?
The nightmayor.
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Woman in bed: Aaagh! Aaagh! A ghost just floated
into
my room!
Ghost: Don't worry, ma'am, I'm just passing
through.
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What did one
ghost say to another?
I'm
sorry, but I just don't believe in people.
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What do you call a ghost who's always sleeping?
Lazy bones.
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Who said "Shiver me timbers!" on the ghost ship?
The skeleton crew.
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What do young ghosts write their homework in?
Exorcise books.
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A butler came running into his important
master's
office.
"Sir, sir, there's a ghost in the corridor. What
shall I do with
him?" Without looking up from his work the master
said, "Tell him I
can't see him."
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Ghost: Are you coming to my party?
Spook:
Where is it?
Ghost: In the morgue - you know what they say, the
morgue the
merrier.
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Which ghost ate too much porridge?
Ghouldilocks.
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Did you hear about the sick ghost?
He had
oooooo-ping cough.
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How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly
flat?
You use a spirit level.
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What did the mother ghost say to the naughty
baby ghost?
Spook when you're spooken to.
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What is a ghost's favorite Wild West
town?
Tombstone.
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When do ghosts play tricks on each other?
On
April Ghoul's Day
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Why don't ghosts make good magicians.
You
can see right through their tricks.
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What sort of violin does a
ghost play?
A
dreadivarius.
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Which day of the week do ghosts like best?
Moandays.
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Why were the ghosts wet and tired?
They had
just dread-ged the lake.
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Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for
rubbish and blubber?
The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.
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One night, after closing time a
barman is
sitting at his bar minding his own buisiness, when a spectral
hound
floats in through the door. The barman, being an exceptionally cool
kind of guy, asks "yeah, what do you want?". The phantom hound
explains, in a haunting voice "I've lost my tail...... and cannot rest
until
a kindly barman stitches it back-on". At this request the barman
stands back astonished and says to the phantom dog..... "Sorry, but
we
don't re-tail spirits at this time of night".
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Q: How do ghosts fly from
one place to
another? A: By scareplane.
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Q: What directions did the
ghost give the
goblin? A: "Make a fright turn at the corner."
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What do
ghosts say when a girl footballer is
sent off ?
Ban-she, ban-she !
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This girl wanted to marry a ghost. I can't
think what possessed her.
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Where would you take a ghost for lunch?
Pizza Haunt!
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Why are haunted houses so noisy in April?
That's when the ghosts do their spring screaming!
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Student l: "Did
you know that ghosts are
protected by the Constitution?"
Student 2: "They are?"
Student 1:
"Sure. It's in the Bill of Frights!"
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What do you call a
ghost at midnight?
A
sheet in the dark!
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What did the little ghost eat for lunch?
A
booloney sandwich!
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How did the bootician style the ghost's hair?
With a scare dryer!
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Why is a ghost like an empty house?
Because
there's no body there!
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What Central American country has the
most
spooks?
Ghosta Rica!
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Did you hear about the ghost who went on safari?
He was a big-game haunter!
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What European capital has the most ghosts?
Boodapest!
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What is the first thing ghosts do when they get
into a
car?
They fasten their sheet (seat) belts.
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What did the mother ghost tell
the kid ghost
when he went out to play?
"Don't get your sheets dirty!"
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How can you tell if a ghost is
about to
faint?
He gets pale as a sheet.
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Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always
running after the ghost of Henry VIII ?
She was trying to get ahead !
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What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A
dead end.
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Knock Knock
Who's there !
Boo !
Boo
who ?
Just Boo ! I'm a ghost !
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What do ghosts watch if they want to
relax?
Skelly-vision!
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What's a ghosts favorite ride at the
carnival?
The roller ghosted.
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What do you call a ghost with a broken
leg?
Hoblin Goblin.
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What do you get when you cross Bambi with a
ghost?
Bamboo.
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Where does a ghost refuel his Porsche?
At a
ghastly station.
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What do ghosts like about riding horses?
Ghoulloping.
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When do ghosts usually appear?
Just before
someone screams.
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What do you call a ghost in a torn
sheet?
A holy terror.
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What did the little ghost give his mom for
Mother's Day?
A booquet of flowers.
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Where do baby ghosts go during the
day?
Dayscare centers
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What's the first thing ghosts do when they get
into
a car?-
They boo-kle their seatbelts
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Firefighter Jokes |
Fishing Jokes |
Food Jokes |
Frog Jokes |
Ghost Jokes |
Gorilla Jokes |
Hair and Bald Jokes |
Halloween Jokes |
Heaven and Hell Jokes |
History Jokes |
Horse Jokes |
Humor Jokes |
Hunting Jokes |
Idiot and Fool Jokes |
Insect Jokes |
Internet Jokes |
Journalist Jokes |
Judge Jokes |
King Kong Jokes |
Knock Knock Jokes |
Lawyer Jokes |
Letter Jokes |
Marriage Jokes |
Men Jokes |
Mental Health Jokes |
Military Jokes |
Money Jokes |
Monster Jokes |
Mouse Jokes |
Movie and TV Jokes |
Music Jokes |
Old Age Jokes |
Parent Jokes |
Pig Jokes |
Police Jokes |
Political Jokes |
Rabbit Jokes |
Religious Jokes |
Restaurant Jokes |
Salesmen Jokes |
School Jokes |
Snake Jokes |
Snowman Jokes |
Space Jokes |
Spelling Jokes |
Sport Jokes |
Teeth Jokes |
Telephone Jokes |
Time Jokes |
Travel and Tourist Jokes |
Vampire Jokes |
Various Animal Jokes |
Waiter Jokes |
Weather Jokes |
Witch Jokes |
Women Jokes |
Yo Momma Jokes |
Zodiac Jokes |
Zoo Jokes
