Humor and jokes - E-MAIL

Why couldn't the alligator send e-mails on his PC? Because it was on old croc.
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Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange? Because the lime was engaged.
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Why didn't the internit get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
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Why do church bells never send e-mails? They'd rather give each other a ring.
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Why did the internit paint his computer screen in little black and white squares? He wanted to check his e-mail.
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Why don't vikings send e-mails? They prefer to use Norse code.
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Why don't you stamp e-mails? Because your foot would go right through the computer screen!
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Pupil: Sir, would you mind e-mailing my exam results to my parents? Teacher: But your parents don't have a comuter. Pupil: Exactly!
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Do you send e-mails on your home computer? What's the point? I can just bring my home along with me and have a chat.
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How come you never write e-mails? I'd rather send a note!
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How do athletes send e-mails? On the Inter-sweat.
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How do comedians send messages? By tee-hee mail.
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How do dolphins send messages? By sea-mail.
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How do footballers send messages? By referee-mail.
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How do Indian chiefs send messages? By teepee-mail!
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How do Italian Chefs swap recipes? By Spaghett-e-mail!
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How do long distance runners send e-mail? On the sprin-ternet.
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How do mountainers send messages? By ski-mail.
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How do really posh dogs send messages? By predigree-mail.
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How do sheep sign their e-mails? Ewes sincerely.
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How do skunks like their e-mails? Scent.
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How do wasps send messages? By bee-mail.
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How do whales type e-mails? With their fish fingers.
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How do writers send e-mail? On the Inkernet.
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How does James Bond type e-mails? With his goldfinger.
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How does Robin hood send messages around Sherwood Forest? By tree mail!
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I just sent my first e-mail. Kongratulations!
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Teacher: You've been e-mailing other pupils that I'm ugly! Pupil: Sorry, miss, I didn't realise you wanted to keep it a secret.
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What do robots put at the bottom of their e-mails? Yours tin-sincerely.
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What do vampires put at the bottom of their e-mails? Best viscious.
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What do werewolves put at the bottom of their e-mails? Beast wishes.
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What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying, 'What's up, Doc? What's up, Doc?' Check for bugs in your system.
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When do e-mails stop being in black and white? When they are read.
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I tried to send an e-mail and broke my computer. How do you manage that? I think it was when I tried to push it through the letterbox.
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I've lost my dog! Have you tried putting a message on the Internet? Don't be silly, my dog never reads e-mails!
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Why was the hen banned from sending e-mails? She was always using fowl language.
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What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message? To e or not to e, that is the question.
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