Are hamburgers male?
Yes, because they're
boygers, not girlgers!
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Can a hamburger marry a
hot dog?
Only if
they have a very frank relationship!
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Can you name two burgers
who are
royalty?
Sir Loin and Burger King!
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Do hamburgers make good vampires?
No, because
they always find themselves in ghoulash situations!
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Do
they really serve burgers in
Transylvania?
Very rare-ly.
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How are UFO's related to hamburgers?
Both
are Unidentified Frying Objects!
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How can you tell which Burger
Land baseball
pitchers are left-handed?
They're the one's wearing the
left-handed 'meats'!
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How did the
jury find the
hamburger?
Grill-ty as charred!
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How do gossipy hamburgers spend their
time?
They chew the fat.
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How do the Rolling Stones like their
burgers?
Plain - Rolling Stones gather no moss-tard!
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How do they prevent crime in hamburger
country?
With burger alarms!
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How do we know burgers love young
people?
They're pro-teen!
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How do we know hamburgers have high
IQ's?
They 'loin' fast!
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How do we know that hamburgers love classic
music?
They're often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and
Cownegie
Hall!
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How do you insult a hamburger patty?
Call it
a meatball!
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How do you make a cheeseburger sad?
Make it
with blue cheese!
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How do you make a hamburger green?
Find a
yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one!
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How do you
make a hamburger
smile?
Pickle it gently!
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How does a burger acquire good taste?
With a
little seasoning!
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How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger Land
baseball?
He throws four meatballs!
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How far do burgers go in school?
Through
cowlege (then they get their 450 degrees!).
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How was the
hamburger murdered?
First it
was 'rolled,' then smothered in onions
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In what school
subjects does the teacher
say, 'Well done, hamburgers'?
A wide range of subjects - meatyeval,
history, meatematics and word
grill.
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Is it proper to eat a hamburger with your
fingers?
No, you should eat your fingers separately!
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Name two tennis stars who
are famous in the
hamburger world?
Bjorn Borger and Billie Jean-o's Burger King!
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Is there a way to make a hamburger do the
Hula?
Sure, order a burger and a shake!
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Seriously, when the crooked
hamburger took
it on the 1am, where did it go?
Heidelburg-er, Germany!
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What are some outstanding hamburger
colleges?
Brandeis, Cowlifornia State, Hoofstra, Pen State, Ranchelaer
Polytechnic, Burgereley and Moosouri!
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What can you say about Ham Burger and
Chief
Justice Warren Burger?
Ham Burger is 'well done' and Chief Justice
Warren Burger has 'done
well'!
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What did the hamburger say when it found out
that most people
liked hamburgers better than frankfurters?
'Hot
dog!'
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What did the hamburger say when it pleaded
'not
guilty'?
I've been flamed!
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What did the hamburgers say to the butcher who
acted on a TV show?
Welcome back, Cutter!
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What did they call it when NHL officials
refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league?
Rink
injustice!
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What did they do to the burger who thought he
was a
rooster?
Cook-a-doodle-do!
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What did they say about the burger who went
skiing
for the first time?
How the meaty have fallen!
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What did they tell the burger who enlisted in
the Army?
You've got no beef, soldier!
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What do burgers think when they are
surrounded by gherkins?
They think they are in a pickle.
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What do hamburger workers say on
Monday
morning?
Well, it's back to the old grind!
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What do some burger eaters have?
A Hardee
appetite!
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What do some people have against
cheeseburgers?
They say, 'Burgers can't be cheesy!'
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What do they call a meeting among the most
brilliant people in Burger Land?
A MEATing of the minds!
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What do they say about the noise at the
Burger Land Super Bowl?
It's PAN-demonium!
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What do you use to determine if a refrigerated
burger is cold enough?
A thermomeater!
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What famous movie did the hamburger meat think
of
when they took it out of the freezer?
They Fry Who Cam in
from the Cold!
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What great song is associated with
hamburgers and baseball?
'Steak Me Out to the Ballgame'!
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What happens when two burgers fall in
love?
They live together in holy meatrimony!
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What is a hamburger's
favourite
story?
Hansel and Gristle!
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What is the hamburgers' most familiar
song?
'Home on the Range'!
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What is the hamburgers' motto?
If at first
you don't succeed, fry, fry again!
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What kind of a pitch
did Sandy Koufax of
the old Burger-lyn Dodgers have?
A fastball - a sizzler.
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What kind of baseball do burgers
play?
Ketchup baseball!
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What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger
joint?
Fry-by-night!
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What kind of girl does a hamburger like?
Any
girl named Patty!
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What old-time song is the burgers'
favourite?
'Hammy' - as sung by Al Jolson!
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What song do burgers sing on the
job?
Gristle While You Work!
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What system do they teach in Hamburger High's
math courses?
The meatric system, silly!
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When can you count on a hamburger in an
emergency?
When the chips are down!
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When do burgers quit their jobs?
The day
they decide to meat LOAF!
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When do hamburgers most enjoy
watching
TV?
During PRIME time!
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When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile
button?
When somebody says, 'Well done'!
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When the crooked hamburger took it on the
'lamb', where did it go?
Oh, 'ewe' know!
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Where can a burger get a great night's
sleep?
On a bed of lettuce!
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Where do the burgers go on New Year's
Eve?
To a meat ball!
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Where does a burger feel at home?
On the
range!
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Where does a burger go on vacation?
The
Swiss (cheese) Alps or The Cheeseapeake Valley!
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Which baseball team is currently the favourite
with hamburger fans?
The Cincinnati Reds -because they're the
Big Bread Machine!
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Which
burgers are
dishonest?
Cat-burgers! (burglars)
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Which burger is famous for a long
nose?
Cyrano de Burgerac!
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Which burgers can tell your fortune?
Medium
burgers!
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Which burgers love to act?
Ham-burgers!
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Which cheeseburger makes a big hit in
baseball?
A double!
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Which is the meat patties' least favourite day
of the
week?
Fry-day!
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Which meatballs get a little tipsy on
occasion?
The POTTED ones!
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Which of our meaty friends are into astrology?
Those that
are born under the sign of the Ham!
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Which people do the
burgers hate?
The
ones who are always putting the bite on them!
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Which political discussions between the
Russians
and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens?
The SALT
talks!
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Which type of comedy leaves a hamburger
cold?
BITING humour!
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Who are the hamburgers favourite
people?
Vegetarians!
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Who can beat any burger at golf?
Any LINKS
sausage!
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Who do hamburgers love on TV?
Archie
Bunker's son-in-law, the meathead!
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Who is the hamburgers' favourite
actress?
Candice Berger!
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Who was the burger's favourite all-time movie
director?
Sizzle B. DeMille!
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Who wins most of the medals for bravery in
Burger
Land?
The meatball heros!
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Why are hamburgers essential to
football?
Because the game is played on a griddle-iron!
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Why aren't burgers too
good at
basketball?
Too many turnovers!
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Why can any hamburger run the mile in under
four
minutes?
Because it's a FAST food!
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Why did the pro football player from the
last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup?
He wanted to
know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl!
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Why do
burgers laugh when you surround them
with pickles?
Who knows - maybe they're picklish!
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Why do burgers run the gauntlet?
To test
their meattle!
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Why do hamburgers act brilliantly on
stage?
They give meaty performances - especially if they are in their
prime!
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Why do hamburgers feel sad at
barbecues?
They get to meet their old flames!
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Why do hamburgers make good
baseball
players?
They're great at the plate!
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Why do hamburgers make poor pigeons?
They
won't talk no matter how you grill them!
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Why do the hamburgers
beat the hot dogs at
every sport they play?
Because hot dogs are the wurst!
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Why is President Carter important to
Hamburger Land in April?
One the opening day of the baseball season, he
throws out the first
meatball!
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Why was the burger thrown out of the
Army?
He couldn't pass mustard! (muster)
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Why were the burgers in the
refrigerator
embarrassed?
They saw the salad dressing!
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Firefighter Jokes |
Fishing Jokes |
Food Jokes |
Frog Jokes |
Ghost Jokes |
Gorilla Jokes |
Hair and Bald Jokes |
Halloween Jokes |
Heaven and Hell Jokes |
History Jokes |
Horse Jokes |
Humor Jokes |
Hunting Jokes |
Idiot and Fool Jokes |
Insect Jokes |
Internet Jokes |
Journalist Jokes |
Judge Jokes |
King Kong Jokes |
Knock Knock Jokes |
Lawyer Jokes |
Letter Jokes |
Marriage Jokes |
Men Jokes |
Mental Health Jokes |
Military Jokes |
Money Jokes |
Monster Jokes |
Mouse Jokes |
Movie and TV Jokes |
Music Jokes |
Old Age Jokes |
Parent Jokes |
Pig Jokes |
Police Jokes |
Political Jokes |
Rabbit Jokes |
Religious Jokes |
Restaurant Jokes |
Salesmen Jokes |
School Jokes |
Snake Jokes |
Snowman Jokes |
Space Jokes |
Spelling Jokes |
Sport Jokes |
Teeth Jokes |
Telephone Jokes |
Time Jokes |
Travel and Tourist Jokes |
Vampire Jokes |
Various Animal Jokes |
Waiter Jokes |
Weather Jokes |
Witch Jokes |
Women Jokes |
Yo Momma Jokes |
Zodiac Jokes |
Zoo Jokes
